If you haven’t read the first issue of the newsletter, you can check it out here!

Hope you drank your morning coffee because I have a question for you.

What’s the difference between TikTok and YouTube?

Cat Goetz posed this question in her interview on the Hot Smart Rich podcast, and I haven’t stopped thinking about her answer:

One is opt-out media, and the other is opt-in.

Let that sink in for a second.

Opt-out media (TikTok and Instagram for example) work by keeping you swimming inside their infinity pool until you actively decide to leave. You didn’t choose what you’re watching. The algorithm chose for you, and the burden is on you to stop. You’ve probably experienced feeling like a soulless shell when you finally peel your eyes away from the screen.

Opt-in media is the opposite. You pressed play on a podcast or a song. You subscribed. You opened this email. The relationship starts with a conscious choice on your part, and that changes how you engage with it.

This is why I can spend three hours on a podcast and feel energized, and spend thirty minutes on TikTok and feel like I need a shower. It’s not just the content, it’s the structure of the relationship between the creator and the audience.

And here’s why this matters for someone building a business or a personal brand:

Opt-out platforms are a race to the bottom. The creator who hooks someone in 0.6 seconds wins, not because their work is better, but because they’re better at getting attention. On these platforms, you’re not building an audience, you’re fighting for a split second in someone’s unconscious scroll.

Opt-in channels like newsletters, podcasts and long-form YouTube videos are different. They attract people who choose you. They’re not distracted. They didn’t succumb to the doomscroll dungeon. They’re far more likely to trust you over time, and the relationship starts from a completely different place.

So here we are, in your inbox, where scrolling looks a little different. You selected this piece and decided to read it. You get to focus on just this one thing instead of swiping on the For You Page. That distinction helps you focus your attention with intention.

Every newsletter will include a Marketing Mini. This section features actions you can take to make marketing a little bit more fun. This week’s Marketing Mini is a two-parter.

For the next 48 hours, pay attention to what makes you opt in. What made you press play, open a new tab or click subscribe? On the flip side, what made you swipe away?

Here, you’re reverse engineering your own attention, which is the simplest way to understand your audience.

Where are you showing up as a creator or business? Are you building an opt-in or opt-out platform?

There’s no wrong answer, but knowing which game you’re playing will change how you go about creating. If you’re all-in on Instagram, you need hooks. If you’re building a newsletter 👋 or podcast, you need depth and consistency.

Both can bring you success, but they require completely different strategies. Mixing them up is one of the most common reasons marketing feels exhausting.

I want to introduce you to the people who I’m growing with. This week, I want you to meet Paige, a friend I made at the very first networking event I ever attended as a fledgling entrepreneur, before I named Steady Parade or had a single client.

Paige is one of those people who immediately expands your world. She’s a natural connector and a gifted facilitator and speaker. She’s hosted murder mystery mixers and improv workshops for professional orgs.

And her business is called Yes and Co., a riff on the foundational improv rule of "yes, and": you accept what your scene partner gives you, and you build on it. It's the opposite of shutting things down or waiting to be convinced. It's opting in as a practice, over and over, in real time.

Her latest venture is JOYRIOT, a guided silent disco dance party meets flashmob (remember those?) that's designed to cultivate your inner joy through playful prompts and group choreography moments. Every JOYRIOT is different because the playlist changes, the location changes, and the magic of it (the way strangers start moving together in public) is beautifully unpredictable.

Here’s what I love about JOYRIOT: it’s opt-in IRL. You don’t dance through crosswalks by accident, you show up because you chose to. And that shared choice is what makes the experience feel electric.

If that sounds like your kind of thing, you can give JOYRIOT a follow on Instagram to catch the next one.

I’m pulling back the curtain in a way that feels a bit more vulnerable (and this is what I meant last time by build in public)

Being self employed can sometimes feel like questioning yourself at every juncture. You can go from confident to completely lost in the same afternoon. When that happens, I’ve found it helps to reset, sometimes with a more structured ritual.

Enter: The Live Your Values Deck.

I literally did this exercise yesterday. You start with 73 value cards and whittle them down to your core handful. It’s insightful in its simplicity, and I felt more connected to myself than I did before I started.

And here’s the connection to opting in: knowing your values is key to making decisions that you feel good about. When you know exactly what’s important to you today, you can say yes intentionally— to an invitation, a new client, or work opportunity. You can’t opt in if you don’t know what you truly want.

🛍️ Get the deck here (this is my Bookshop affiliate link, I earn a small commission if you purchase through this link, at no extra cost to you)

This whole issue comes back the same thing. Opting in to this newsletter, to a values exercise, to a silent disco with strangers, is just one way you can act with intention in a world designed for seamless passivity. Those small acts, those votes with your attention, add up.

Thank you for spending some of your attention here. I don’t take that lightly.

Stay Steady,
Molly

P.S. I’d love for this to be a two-way conversation, so hit reply and let me know: where do you opt-in or opt-out right now?